You and your partner have just settled into bed, ready for a night of fireworks beneath the moonlight and stars outside your window. Caressing progresses to kissing and finally, to the moment of sexual intimacy you’ve been waiting for all week, but it’s a moment that never happens — at least not like it does in the movies — partly because you’re exhausted and don’t feel engaged. Instead of experiencing fireworks, you see your wildest sexual fantasies go up in flames.
If it’s of any consolation, you’re not alone. Research shows that 34% of people view their sex lives as unsatisfying or very unsatisfying, with 16% saying their current partners never or rarely satisfy them sexually. Some of the top reasons for sexual dissatisfaction include a lack of orgasms, trying only a few (or one) sex positions, not engaging in oral play, and minimal to no cuddling.
You don’t have to settle for a subpar sex life, though. When the mind and body come together perfectly during a sexual moment, it’s as if the stars align, making your lovemaking experience more heavenly than ever. Let’s explore sexuality and how to enhance pleasure through both your body and your mind.
Enhancing Pleasure Through the Mind
How your body and mind connect can significantly affect your physical and emotional well-being in the bedroom. Joy, contentment, and relaxation with your partner are positive emotions that enhance fulfillment and physical pleasure. On the contrary, distraction, anger, and worry may all become ingrained in your body and make it difficult to stay present and thoroughly appreciate your sexual experiences.
The great news regarding the connection between the body and mind? Enhancements in the mind frequently lead to benefits for the body and vice versa. To put it another way, having more emotional awareness may take your sex life to a whole new level.
How to Cultivate Emotional Awareness
Mastering mindfulness is the key to boosting your emotional awareness during a romp in the sack. You may find practicing mindfulness — being able to remain in the present moment — throughout the day and becoming in tune with your emotions easier when you engage in meditation and yoga. These mindfulness practices can then help elevate your time between the sheets, making it easier for you to stay present when having sex.
Exploring Sexuality With the Right Frame of Mind
The more present and engaged you are during intercourse, the more effectively you can explore your sexuality and notice the following about yourself:
- What kinds of touching you find most comfortable
- The sensations your body has from one moment to the next (move freely)
- The sounds you and your partner create
- The rhythm of your breathing and movements
Take your time and enjoy yourself rather than racing toward the climax. Also, remember that speaking up when something feels fantastic is not something to be bashful about. Talking about the things you enjoy and would like to see more of in the bedroom may quickly improve your sex life.
Enhancing Pleasure Through the Body
Experiencing the buildup of pleasure leading to orgasms that resonate to the very core of your being doesn’t have to be a pipe dream. Foreplay, different sex positions, and adult sex toys are all ways you can boost your pleasure through the body, even as you stay in the moment mentally.
Sex Positions
Experiment with new positions (e.g., spooning; sideways, which is like spooning but facing each other; or the traditional missionary position with the man on top) and how they stimulate different parts of your body. This can provide depth and diversity to your pleasure, which will ultimately result in an unforgettable orgasm.
Adult Sex Toys
Sex toys like vibrators can provide the extra spark you need to experience breathtaking orgasms. Use a clitoral vibrator on yourself as your partner penetrates you to amplify a vaginal orgasm, or have your significant other use your favorite vibrator on you before engaging in various sex actions to experience long-lasting orgasms.
Foreplay
Before you go right into getting down and dirty, take time to warm things up (e.g., making out), whether you’re having sex vaginally, anally, orally, or with sex toys. Incorporate the art of edging and discover new ways to heighten the anticipation of both you and your partner. Becoming aroused allows your body to optimize the feel-good physiological reactions that occur during sex, such as increased blood flow that heightens sensitivity.
Elevate Your Sexual Experiences
Getting it on can be more exhilarating than you could imagine when your mind and body stay connected during the entire “sex”-capade. Practice mindfulness to master how to stay focused on your body during sexual encounters, and “tap” into the power of foreplay, lube, G-spot exploration, and adult sex toys to stimulate orgasm-fueled ecstasy. Consider all the above-listed tips to enhance your pleasure through your mind and body as you do the horizontal tango in the nights ahead.
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